We Are Not Dead.

Seriously, we are alive and kicking. We are just sort of hybernating. But Padres baseball is just around the corner and I have a feeling that in the next couple of days I'm going to be about as excited about the Pads as I'm going to get this season. Then they'll start playing. And I don't think they'll be bad per se. Just boring. Boring like they've been for three years now. Except maybe more boring because this year? 100% more Giles. Awesome. I fully intend to break down my feelings on the upcoming baseball season soon. Hopefully before it starts. But not today. Maybe tomorrow. In the meantime, schoolgirl uniforms are hot. Cheerleaders are hot. Hey, you got your cheerleader in my schoolgirl uniform! That didn't sound right. Whatever.

Again?! What The Fuck Is Wrong With This Guy?

Having gone somewhere around a whole week without praising his Lord and Savior AJ Smith, Nick Canepa once again let's the compliments fly with this article. AJ doesn't do much in the free agent market, and apparently, unlike teams like Denver and New England, he doesn't have to. You see, those teams are trying to replace guys they don't like in order to catch up with us. We don't have any guys we don't like, so there is no point in us doing anything at all. I see the logic. I mean, you can't dislike your free safety when you don't have one, can you? Let me get all your hopes up with this real quick:

"Based on what newly acquired safety Adam Archuleta has been told by the Bears, he has been given Mike Brown's job. Which means that Brown, a Pro Bowler in 2005, will either be cut or moved back to free safety.-- Daily Herald"

Now, I doubt the Bears are really going to let Mike Brown hit the open market unimpeded, but if they did, wouldn't that be a sweet free agent pick-up. Sure, the guy gets injured, but he's so good when he's playing isn't it worth a shot? Unfortunately, I doubt he's in our price range, which tends to hover around 20-30% lower than what the market will bear. Which leads me to my favorite part of Canepa's piece:

“We're trying to build a championship team and the Dielman thing was tormenting me,” Smith says. “So we did go after a free agent – hard. That free agent is Kris Dielman. He was on the market, remember. He no longer was a Charger. We put a full-court press on Kris Dielman, and he was a free agent who chose to come back to the Chargers.”

Damn right he CHOSE to come back, cause your full court press had nothing to do with it from where I sit. You dodged that bullet, AJ, when Dielman decided to leave $10,000,000 on the table in Seattle, citing strong relationships he had developed within the organization here. I doubt you were one of those relationships.

The article goes on to talk about how teams are still calling about Michael Turner, even after AJ put a 1st and 3rd round tender on him. He won't name the teams, but I imagine it's just about everyone, and what they're really asking is when they can get a shot at LaDainian.

AJ Smith seems to be beyond reproach at this point due to some of the solid drafts and acquisitions he's made, but it seems as though there are at least a few people out there that are less than thrilled with the way he treats individuals, and that's the sort of thing that can slowly poison a club. Watch how Donnie Edwards plays against us twice this season. But Canepa fuels the fire and consistently updates Smith's PR docket with gung-ho crap like this:

"I don't know what to call A.J. Smith. He may have fans worried, but he has other teams concerned. Because he has the touch."

I'm so sad that I missed Nick's online chat the other day. I won't miss the next one.

Football Related At Least.

Here's an interesting little piece on how the NFL tries to bully people around and a bit about the laws governing the use of broadcasts without the express written consent of the NFL. Or anyone else for that matter.

And here's a ridiculously hot picture of Christina Aguilera:

How'd We Pass On This Guy?

A few people expressed to me that they were less than thrilled to see the Chargers show absolutely no interest whatsoever in linebacker Joey Porter after the Steelers released him. Well, Porter is a well known hothead, and while I wouldn't have minded seeing us add a player of his ability (whether he'll ever live up to his promise again is questionable), it seems in light of this article, that he is likely not the kind of element we'd prefer to have on a team that would have been far and away the most morally, ethically and legally challenged in the league if not for the Cincinatti Bengals. The gist of the article is that Joey Porter punched Levi Jones outside of a casino after some heated trash talk at the blackjack table. At the blackjack table? Did Levi take the dealers bust card? Unforgiveable.

Now Porter faces a possible penalty of up to a year in jail and a $1000 fine. I say throw the book at him! Yeah, right. Porter will likely have to take, like one anger management class and show up for a high school assembly somewhere. Honestly, though, who really cares? I give the guy credit. At least he didn't punch his wife, his coach or Naomi Campbell's personal assistant. Levi Jones is an O-lineman for crying out loud. That's a fair fight, damn it. Levi Jones should feel like a pussy.

They Ain't No Powder Blues...

...but there's some promise. New Uni teaser:



Not too different from what you can see here, I just hope they don't go all blue with the pants or some horrible Arena League shit like that. Here's the new logo:



Here's the old:



Not much of a difference there either, but I prefer the old. Your thoughts, people?

Some Thoughts To Keep Things Going.

Free agency has been blowing up with crazy, out of control money being bandied about like there's no tomorrow, so I figured I'd throw in a couple of my personal thoughts on a couple of things that have come to pass so far.

First, it seems the Ravens have come to terms with disgruntled Bills RB Willis McGahee. This is a scary signing for us in the AFC. McGahee is an upper tier back who's numbers last year didn't reflect his ability to perform. If I'm not mistaken, he was nursing some nagging injuries last season. At any rate, he's certainly an upgrade from Jamal Lewis, who doesn't even try to hit the hole anymore. Good luck with that guy, Cleveland. With the McGahee signing the Ravens will likely be an even bigger force this year than last, and we meet them in the regular season. That should be fun.

Second, I have heard concern about the apparent upgrades that have been happening in Denver so far this offseason. I have to say I'm not impressed just yet. Forget the fact that so far I have not seen any solid evidence that Jay Cutler is the second coming of Elway, let's take a look at what they've done. I count two "big" signings. First, Daniel Graham came over from the Patriots. His offensive numbers are negligable, which is to be expected coming from an offense where every single player gets to have their very own touchdown during the season. The big deal about Graham is supposed to be his blocking, which I suppose is suppose to help manage a talent like our very own Manimal. I just see more sacks for Phillips personally. This signing is unimpressive. Then you've got Travis Henry coming over from the Titans. Henry is certainly a more talented running back than any of the guys that Denver was platooning out of their stable last year, but I really don't see the overall numbers matching up that differently. Essentially, all that Henry means is maybe an extra roster spot. The Shit Ponies will be also-rans again this year, the question is, what will Shanahan do to save face this time? Crack Cutler in the knee and bring Plummer back?

Lastly for today, I'd like to address the situation wherein I constantly bash our GM, AJ Smith. I'm not blind to the many solid moves that AJ has made. It's just that I hate the manner in which he carries himself at times, as well as his overbearing bravado. Badmouthing players for taking their beefs to the media while at the same time using Nick Canepa as his own personal human bullhorn? Running quality players out of town because they were a "Marty guy" and/or he didn't draft them? A lot of my animosity with AJ has to do with Donnie Edwards, obviously. AJ laid down a constant barrage of shit about Donnie in the media and all I ever hear Donnie say is that he felt disrespected by the organization because they never gave him a reasonable offer. Now AJs line is that it would be money poorly spent to offer a long term contract to a player at the stage Donnie's at in his career. Sure, but it would not have been so bad to give him a 4 year deal three years ago when he asked for it. I'd take one more year of a player that productive. I don't want to get into how he let Foley go before any details of "the incident" came out or how he let go of Kiel as soon as the season ended. I suppose you can justify those things by saying you're trying to avoid a Cincinnatti type of atmosphere and that's fine. I understand that AJ has built us a powerful football team and I'm thankful for that, but remember, this team goes as LaDainian Tomlinson goes. AJ did not draft Tomlinson and Tomlinson is the only pre-AJ guy who's ever gotten his due from Smith. Notice, however, that Smith more or less locked up Michael Turner for at least one more year. Something honestly tells me that Smith would like to see what Turner would do if Tomlinson had to sit out for a while, and if it was "good enough" that would be the end of TBE in San Diego. He's seems to have the sportswriters believing it as well with Tim Sullivan calling the drop-off from TBE to The Burner nearly indiscernable (in this column the other day. Turner is an AJ guy, and TBE is the only thing left that's keeping AJ from stamping his name firmly across the face of this team. Consider yourselves warned. Go Bolts!!!

Oops, almost forgot, here's a hot girl:

Thanks For Stickin' Around, Big Guy.

So, I suppose some of you expected me to jump all over the news that Kris Dielman re-signed with the Chargers over the weekend. I suppose you're probably thinking it took me so long to get around to mentioning it because I was drafting some epic poem of apology to AJ Smith for doubting his negotiating acumen. Well, I wasn't. I was not feeling up to typing as even the tips of my fingers were hurting the last couple o' days. But now I'm ready.

Nice Homer, AJ!

I can't begin to tell you how thrilled I am that Dielman is returning. One of the most important things a football team can do to sustain greatness is to retain exceptional talent on the lines. That being said, it was pretty apparent that Smith was ready to let Dielman walk. There's no way in the world he could have expected Dielman to leave $10 million dollars on the table in Seattle and stay in San Diego just because he has built some solid friendships. I've only seen one other athlete take the "San Diego discount." His name was Tony Gwynn. Maybe you've heard of him. He never made as much as Dielman's going to get. Still, it's nice to see that kind of attitude in a professional athlete again. Just don't any of you geniuses out there give BA GM AJ much credit for this. He probably had Kyle Turley on the phone when he got the news. Go Kris Dielman!!! Go Bolts!!!

Now, go get this guy:



And bring me back this girl:

Oh AJ, Just When I Think...

...you've done the stupidest thing you could ever do, you go and do something like this...and totally redeem yourself!

Ultimate Weapon Lorenzo Neal finally gets his cheddar in the form of a three year contract worth $5.1 Million, making him the highest paid fullback bad-ass motherfucker in the league. Check his wallet, you know it's on there.

I have no problem with this move. In fact, I like it. $5.1 Million over 3 years is not a lot to pay for the Mack FB of the league. Although, it is enough jack to make me wonder whether he should maybe be returning punts or longsnapping on field goals, but hell, I'm excited for up to three more years of big blocks and pass receptions that make you pull your hair out yelling, "Why are you throwing it to the fullback? He doesn't even remotely resemble Tomlinson!"

I'm curious as to what my cohort CJ has to say about this, considering he's the one who sent me the article along with a request to post on it. I'm betting he poo-poos the whole affair. In case you've never met CJ, he's a hater. Go Bolts!!!

Good News, Bad News.

First, the good news:



Now, the bad:

Well, it looks like it's time to say good-bye to Kris Dielman, widely considered the anchor of last year's stellar offensive line. Kris is ready to join the free agent pool tonight at 9:00 after the Chargers were somehow unable to come up with an offer tantalizing enough to keep him off the open market. Here's another hit single from BA GM AJ on the sitch:

“This will hurt,” Smith reiterated yesterday. “I don't blame him. He deserves everything he gets. He's a great kid, a great pro. But the only way to make him stay is to give him what he wants.”

There you have it. Dielman is being unreasonable. You really have to look for it, but that's what Smith is saying. I consider myself fluent in AJ these days. Check it:

"He deserves everything he gets," means, "Some desperate team is going to pay the greedy son of a bitch more than I deem him worthy of. Fucking pussies!"

"But the only way to make him stay is to give him what he wants," means, "Believe me, if I could force him to stay I would, but I'm certainly not going to pay him actual money. The bottom line is that unless your name rhymes with MaDainian Momlinson, if you want to play for my glorious empire, you'll take what I want to pay you."

I've seen this at the poker table many times. Hell, I've lived it. You're rolling along, getting all the cards you need. You don't feel like you can lose. You've made all the right plays, and even some of the wrong ones, and luck has rewarded you every time. Then you run into a couple of bad hands. But instead of tightening up and playing it straight for a while, you try to gamble your way through it. You think, "I'm better than these guys. I can get it all back." Most of the time you don't.

Donnie Edwards was a bad hand. I think Dielman will end up being a bad hand. Norv Turner is a split pot, which is pretty much annoying, so that blows. Players like Edwards and Dielman are not so easily replaced. BA GM AJ better think about playing a little bit safe for a bit, or he might turn out like another "Genius" GM I remember. Who will be your Brian Still, AJ? Your Aaron Hayden?

Update: Michael Turner has been saddled with a first and third round draft pick tender, more or less insuring that he will stay with the team for one more season. Personally, I don't mind this as I love having that insurance policy back there. But more importantly, to everyone who said to me that Turner was gone for sure: Suck it!!! You all looked at me funny when I told you not to be surprised if AJ made him unattainable, because AJ loves HIS guys. Suck it! Suck it! Suck it! Why do you question me?!!!