So, however many years ago it was-seems like a thousand-that the Chargers fired incompetent playoff loser Marty Schottenheimer a lot of people were asking me who I thought we should hire as the coach of the Chargers. My answer to that was first and foremost, Jim Mora. Jim Mora, whose career in Atlanta was killed by Mike Vick, much like Andy Reid's with the Eagles is presently being killed. Jim Mora, who never got a shot in Seattle because look how shiny Pete Carroll is! Anyway, I'd say Jim Mora and Charger fan would say, "Oh my God you're so stupid" and roll their eyes because Charger fan sucks and then the organization went and hired incompetent every day loser Norv Turner instead. Then, through all the years Turner was busy nice-guying our team into the abyss and backing us away from the edge of the pool of success until we were buried under old barcalounger cushions in the poolhouse of failure, people would say, "Well who would you rather have? There is no one in the world who can do the job better than Norv Turner, so let's all stay the course like a bunch of dumb assholes." And I'd say, "Jim Mora's out there," and everybody'd roll their eyes and say, "You're an asshole! Jim Mora sucks because ESPN said so" or some such dumb bullshit.
You're probably wondering where I'm going with this. I'll tell you. A lot of talk is going on about the next Chargers coach and guess whose name is being bandied about quite a bit? That's right, Jim Mora you jerks! Suck it. I pray that this happens. Sure, he's getting the keys to a Datsun parked where our Porsche used to be, but I still think he would make all the haters and Norv apologists look as stupid as they are. I can't wait. I'm working on creative new ways to say "I told you so" already.