Tuesday, October 11, 2011

The Roundup...

It has been two steady weeks without posts so I figured I'd chime in and explain why there has been such inactivity. First, the Dolphins game. As you are aware, the game was blacked out and right now I'll be damned if I'm dropping $100+ to go watch Norv Turner and his merry band of assholery. No thanks. The radio and I argued and yelled at each other over a few beers and low and behold, Chargers beat the Dolphins and we're 3-1. Not even I can be critical of a performance I wasn't able to watch with my eyeparts so while the score wasn't 189-2 like I wanted, I half expected to lose that game. Since we didn't, I feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Yay us.

This past weekend saw me uttering some expletives early in the game at both the Donkey fans and their stupid crowd, as well as during the early flailing shenanigans that Ol' Laserface put forth. Donating six points early to the Donks wasn't that big a deal as it turned out, however, I'm still longing for Laserface to start firing lasers all over the field. I think the spike in the end zone after his rushing touchdown (?) was the best throw of the day, outside of the late 2nd quarter bomb to #80. I hear people calling him M80, and yeah, I get it, but let's be real, the name on the back of his jersey should say, "Fragile". I think that's Italian. That's being far too nice as far as I'm concerned.

The thing that's most intriguing to me is how no one seems to be getting behind this team. All around the media, save the PR Crew on staff at the Tribune under A.J.'s watch, most are dismissing our now 4-1 record. Which to some degree I get. So, allow me to play optimist for a moment and don't fucking get used to this, but let's look at some positives shall we? Bullet points: LUDICROUS SPEED! GO!

*Rivers hasn't been Rivers quite yet. I'm confident he gets there. Whether its the injuries to Jackson, Gates and Fragile that are causing him to throw mostly behind his receivers on everything but the deep ball I can't confirm, but I'm sure it has something to do with his interception total at this point in the season. And, don't start getting all excited about Gates. There is a major problem there that isn't going away anytime soon, if ever.

*Defensively we've been "eh". Denver sort of kind of climbed their way back into the game late on Jesus' watch. The run defense has been just short of abysmal, but, they are getting it done enough to tally wins, in spite of the multitude of injuries. For the last umpteenth years under Norv at this point in the season we've been bitching about our record, so you can all get fucked for complaining. We're not 2-3 or 2-5, so say what you want about our competition, but we're beating them. You can't complain about not being 2-3.

*The running game has been surprisingly impressive. In spite of Norv's lack of understanding of drawing up running plays, Tolbert and China Doll have been relatively effective. China Doll had himself a heck of a day before straining his calf (FUCKING STAY HEALTHY YOU COCKFINGERER!), and both have been very useful catching the ball out of the backfield. I'll also guarantee that they don't fumble during the bye week and that will make two weeks in a row! (Might not have fumbled in Miami game, couldn't see it, buy me tickets if you want accuracy)

*Only one special teams return touchdown given up on the year. PROBLEM FUCKING SOLVED!

*Tough to ignore that Nick Novak is filling in quite nicely for the much maligned kicker in town. I'm not overly critical of our incumbent nancy boy kicker, but the reactionary nature of this sports town might call for Nate's head come the offseason if this continues.

While I'll go as far as to say I'm not sold on this team yet, it is still early. Some say that due to the lockout, the preseason was rather abbreviated and that we'll start finding our way shortly as we've gotten a bit more regular playing time for the guys. While I can't discount that, it also needs to be noted that this is much the same crew that took the field last year. The "big" free agent signings took place on the defensive side of the ball so I'm a bit curious as to why the offense is so out of sync. I'm blaming injuries and Norv and global warming, but I think they get it together. And, let's be real, they better get it together, the schedule after the bye gets a bit more difficult than the Chiefs, Vikings, Broncos and Dolphins, and the Raiders appear at least on the surface to be slightly for real.

So, I'll be enjoying the bye week, knowing full well I've been swearing far less than normal under Norv Turner led football teams, but I'm reserving the right to brandish wildly my more polished expletive skills I honed during the lockout.

Go Bolts. Go Bye Week. Go Cheerleaders doing splits.


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