Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Week Two Surprises...
Ask and ye shall receive. Week Two Ballyhoo comes and goes with little a fire in the belly of the beast called revenge. Anticipation was running high as we embarked on the epic battle that was supposed to be January early. Saturday freak accidents brought early morning appointments with crutches and a prelude to another Bolt collapse. Well, not really a collapse per se, as at some point you must be in a football game in order to crumble in such monumental fashion. Am I disappointed? Not as much as I would have expected.
What happened on Sunday Night on National Television was not completely out of the realm of possibility. You see, when the team killed me (yet again) this past January, I was looking for any positive branch in the proverbial happy tree to grasp ahold of as the ground came rushing warp speed at me. To no avail, there was none. Ask and ye shall receive, first we rehired the Elder Statesman that no one in San Diego apparently thought was completely competent to run the football team. Go elsewhere said Lord Sith A.J. and a month after his rehire, "The Incompetent One" was given his outright release. His replacement, a perennial underachiever who just hadn't managed to play shitty cards properly during the tenure of his career. No matter decreed Lord Sith, "He will obey." When the prevailing reasoning behind the new hire is, "Not even he can fuck this up.", you might find yourself wanting in the future.
Thus brings Sunday. What went wrong? Besides 'everysinglefuckingthingunderthelights' of Beantown? I'm not here to breakdown every single bust of the game. That would take far too long and I'd sprain eight digits typing all of the expletives. What I saw, from my casual, and most objective chair, was a pathetic display of a tremendously outcoached, outmatched, outplanned and outexecuted Pop Warner football team. Ask and ye shall receive people. Ask and ye shall receive. As Joe SuperBolt turned to me as the clock struck zero and the light bulbs were burning out on the New England side of the scoreboard from overuse, and declared how much better off we were without ol'Schotzy at the helm, all I could do was choke back the tears. Tears of laughter. Not even ol' Norvy can fuck this up huh? Good Work A.J. I can see where this road leads. And no, I'm not jumping from the top rope of the sofa to land on the panic button like some are. In two very significant football games in our pre pubescent season, there has been no semblance of the former Superpower of a football team shining through. Same players, new bad as ass unis, recycled shitty head coach with no plan.
How can one person ruin my Tuesday? Conversation with Long Time Raiders Fan led to this exchange**:
LTRF: "I think the Chargers might be in trouble."
LTRF: "I've seen that system before in Oakland. It sucks."
Me: "Oh fucking great."
I never thought that I'd long for a day of Schottenheimer coached football, but damned if Norvy's little program here is sound. I'm not writing it off as it is week two, but, much progress needs be made and quite quickly or this will not in fact, "Be our year."
Compounding all of this was the first loss of the Madden '08 Prognostication Wagon. In a defensive struggle, the Bolts prevailed on Saturday night by the squeakiest of 96-85 Margins. Antonio Gates was unstoppable, as well as Randy Moss' 19 catches for 598 yards and 7 touchdowns. Madden be damned there was no fortune telling this night as the season now stands at 1-1. Hey Norvy, Video Norvy has you drummed in coaching skill, watch a tape and learn how to run an offense that is fronted by LaDainian Tomlinson, Antonio Gates, and has a rather functioning quarterback.
So Norvy, fuck this brand of football and get your shit together, otherwise as LTRF put it so succinctly, "Ol' A.J. will have to put a bullet in him." I wholeheartedly agree.
**Conversation with LTRF may not have been verbatim.
And finally, cheerleaders without scorn...