Monday, September 10, 2007

Week 1 Under Your Belt Fatty...


An uneventful week one came and went with what some call a "football" game being played. The Bolt faithful were out in full frontal nudity attack against the Cubs from Chicagoland. As predicted by many, the defending SuperBowlers were unable to handle the sustained attack of the defensive unit in their fresh new unis. Victory be ours in the virgin weekend of Footballing.

As it were, emotions flowed forth from many of those donning the yellow and blue in the greater San Diego area. Despite the attempts by many in our town, the alcohol ban had not yet gone into effect, and a riot free weekend was had by all. I watched as an objective observer, emotions in check, while others appeared slightly concerned at times. Although not a picture perfect performance, the rookie coaching staff persevered throughout as the Cub defense stifled the offensive attack of TBE and the gang. Antonio got first downs with the same frequency that U.S. Senators procure hookers while the rest of the offense remained rather stagnant. The backbreaking moment coming late in the game with LTD throwing yet another football to paydirt, and running for another to effectively execute the NFC Champs. Clock strikes zero and the win column is richer by a tally.

Although not entirely pleased with the week 1 representation by the home squad, I'm reserving judgement for now. It was not the day of the most polished footballing troop that I've ever seen, but rust and nerves can effect a young squad with new clipboarders, and well, they won. What the hell kind of tyrannical criticism can I levy during a win? Answer: None. My message to you: You are one win less dead to me. Hopefully this apathy will rinse away like sand from your tingly parts, and not require more serious antibiotic treatments.


Madden '08 Update

Thursday Night saw the debut of the season long Madden '08 Magic 8 Ball Prediction Machine, and a fierce battle was fought. Defense was at a premium as the game was never actually in doubt. Video Bolts armed with the General Max Colossus at the helm jumped out early and never looked back. Were it not for the explosive return power of Devin Hester, the 84-48 final score would have been more telling than the lightbulbs on the scoreboard indicated. Bolts cover the 7+ point spread and the over fell with little difficulty. Video Madden Magic 8 Ball Prediction Machine is running on all cylinders and is a perfect 100% for the 2007-08 season to date. Next up on the schedule, Thursday night, September 13th, New England at home v. The Bolts. Results posted shortly thereafter...stay tuned. There are still VIP box seats available for the price of box of High Lifes for those who wish to view the game in person. Hit the email link at the top for details...

Madden Bolts 1-0

Week 1 Report Card

Chargers: B-. That's not harsh, the defense was stellar, the offense was up against a formidable NFC foe, but needs to shake off the rusty nerves if they want to extract revenge on the Beantowners who had a hand in ruining my birthday.

CJ's Emotional Attachment: F+. Hey. Hey! That's better than the F-- defcon four level of hatred that was coarsing through my veins prior to Sunday afternoon. It's called progress people, fuck. Give me a God Damned break all right?

And now, cheerleaders...

2 comments:

Blogust said...

This bolt fan was cursing the Lizard, I mean the Offensive Guru, all the way up to the 1st touchdown. Hell, I even cursed him when the Bears were cheating. We were looking like the San Diego Raiders not the Chargers, but after all was said and done, somehow I wasn't hating Norv Turner so much.

MainTour said...

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