Thursday, January 10, 2013

Brent Musburger: There Outta Be a Law

As I'm sure you all know by now, once renowned football booth talent Brent Musburger has become a drooling psychopath, bent on the humiliation and objectification of women everywhere. During a broadcast of the BCS Championship game, Musburger somehow must have wrested the camera from a nearby cameraman-presumably beating the cameraman bloody in the process during a testosterone fueled assault-and panned it lasciviously over Albama quarterback AJ McCarron's girlfriend, Katherine Webb. Mussberger went on to comment unabashedly on the attractiveness of the current Miss Alabama pageant title holder, quite possibly while rubbing his old man nipples in the most offensive way possible. Viewers at home probably thought that the local affiliate had accidentally switched footage to an episode of the Howard Stern program.

As of press time there appears to be no law to regulate the acknowledgment of beautiful women by old, creepy and most importantly, male sports broadcasters-surely a Congressionary oversight-, but one can only hope heavy fines and suspensions are pending. Someone has to think of the children!This is not the America we all dream of.

Breaking Update: Apparently sports news sources have tracked down footage of Musburger making a horribly degrading comment about Florida State Seminoles fan, Jenn Sterger some years ago, as she innocently watched her favorite team play while tastefully decked out in a bikini swim suit and "daisy duke" shorts. She never asked for this sort of attention. The following footage is not intended for children or those suffering from anxiety:

Shocking. Jenn Sterger, you may remember, achieved notoriety largely for being somehow spotted in the stands at Seminoles games and again later for receiving pictures of Brett Favre's penis.

Be sure to catch our upcoming feature, Old Men: Why So Gross?


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