Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Eli Manning Effing Sucks!

I've been saying for a long time now that I could not care less that Eli Manning temper tantrummed his way out of a Chargers jersey years ago (who knew he could hold his breath that long?), and as far as I'm concerned-or any San Diego fan should be concerned, for that matter-we made out like bandits in the deal. Problem is, Eli has a ring and a fancy last name and that just got him a ridculous new contract with the VaGiants. I don't care to report the exact numbers here because i don't feel like looking them up, but suffice it to say that he's going to be making about $100 million over the next 6 years and that is a crock of shit. This ultimately means we will have to pay Rivers somewhere in that territory (or more, since statistically he makes Eli look like Archie, who must've been the nicest guy to ever play since he's remembered as a talent and I can't find talent anywhere near any numbers he ever put up (and don't give me that, "he had no talent around him bullshit, because lots of QBs have been considered NFL busts even though they played for shit teams-any QB the Lions ever drafted for instance-and yeah, I double paranthesized[?])). What the fuck was I talking about? [Scrolls back] Oh, right, the Bolts are going to likely have to give up the richest contract in franchise history to keep Rivers and that should pretty much put the final nail in any hope some of you may be retaining that we'll somehow scrounge up the coin it'll take to keep Shawn Merriman after this season. My advice? Buy stock (or at least a jersey) in Larry English. Happy Wednesday, Chargers fans!

1 comment:

CJ said...

That really doesn't seem like a happy Wednesday to me. In fact that seems about as far from Happy Wednesday as you can get. Thanks for ruining my day so early. You're truly awesome. Jerk.