The Wrap...

So where did we leave off last time? Oh, right. The end of the third quarter. Really, does anyone want to go that in depth with this now that we all know the outcome as painful as it was? Well, let’s just do the quick summary thing and then we can discuss the future of what this site may become. Fourth quarter offense showed a lot of guts tying the game. As unfortunate and bleak as things looked for a time, the prayers rained down from Iowa, and because of a steroid induced elbow to Skip’s head, we had the tying touchdown. On to the free football…

Win the coin toss and you win the game more often than not. Guess what we did? That coin had a big ‘ol Bolt on it and we marched down the field. Right up to the point where Mr. Kaeding was in range. Then something strange began to happen. Marty stopped letting the boys play ball. I was content with the field position for the kick, it was first down and I was ready for victory shots in Cabo. I thought that we would run a play to the middle of the field and then kick it early. First down run to the right. Okay, just run it to the middle now and kick it on third down. Second down, same formation, run to the right. Ummm, okay, no good just kick it now. Kick the ball, c’mon, kick it. Or, seeing as how the Jets had about nine guys waiting to stop the run, how about a high percentage play action pass, with all those guys on the line, it may go for a touchdown. Nope, same formation, run to the right. So, we ran three plays to the right side of the rainy, wet field, and made our rookie kicker wait out on the sidelines for about ten minutes to think about what he had to go and do. We made the kick harder for him, the Jets had ample opportunity to ice him, and I never saw the ball miss the uprights. As soon as his foot struck the ball, I knew he missed and I was walking out in the streets of Cabo looking for the smokin’ hot chicks.

I came back to the t.v.’s just in time to see the defense quit playing football for 2004. Our season, done. My vacation, ruined. Well, for about ten minutes anyway; all because of some questionably conservative decisions, at the least opportune time. Conservative decision making didn’t get us a 12-4 season. It didn’t get us to the playoffs. What it got us was a tee time at Riverwalk on Sunday. I am amazed that I don’t have a heart condition now.

I was able with the help of some tequila to shake off the defeat, and it became that much easier when we arrived at the Squid Roe, and the smokin’ hot chicks were there looking smokin’ hot. We did shots and danced the night away and reveled in all that was Cabo with the smokin’ hot chicks.

So what happens from here? The Bolts are done for 2004. Until the season plays out and the Patriots win what will be Super Bowl number three in four years, nothing can or will change with the Bolts as an organization. We will soon find out the fate of #9, and see what 2005 will bring us. So what will be going on here until then? Well, I have discussed this with my cohort and we have agreed that we will make the smooth transition to what will be the Padres 2005 campaign right here at this site. I hope that all of you will continue to read and be a part of what are our teams in San Diego. The site may undergo a few changes so that it can encompass the best of both of our teams, it has not been decided. But there will be stuff to read, be it about the remainder of the football playoffs, gambling, or stupid things that we do when drinking, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera…

On that note, I will be enjoying what is left of the playoffs and making my opinion known to one and all right here based on the gambling results of those games. Then it will be on to baseballing for all those who are interested. Victory shots for everyone….

It's Okay I Got This One...

So, if I can sell you that I left a beach that was filled with cold beers, warm sunshine, and hot girls hanging out doing smokin' hot chick things with us at a swim up bar to watch that crap on Saturday night, I might be able to sell you a DVD with Paris Hilton making out with Lindsay Lohan, oh, and me...

That game unfortunately was watched right next door to the Caliente Betting House in Cabo San Lucas. After parting with the smokin' hot chicks, who by the way promised to meet up with us for our victory celebration (more on that later) it was on to place the bet. Caliente made me ill, the line was terrible, and I obeyed my gambling rule of never putting the Bolts on the ticket to win. To much to risk in the way of a massive coronary watching that team, let alone wagering some tequila money on them. The fact that the line was ridiculously high in the Bolts favor made the point line look good. So, I decided, in Mexico, let's gamble! Little did I know that there was a downpour in San Diego, and Marty was going to reel the offense in like a thousand pound marlin. More on the coaching flaws later...

During the debacle, I mean, game, I had to keep reminding the Jets fan in the group that we did in fact have a loaded twelve guage shotgun aimed squarely at our own genitalia, figuring eventually we would either empty both barrels into our swimtrunks or figure out a way to pull it out of there and knock down the Jets. Never happened. The referees were determined to dry the field off with their yellow hankies every time the Bolts were on offense. I stopped counting after the tenth penalty, I think it stopped there, but then again there was a bit of tequila involved...

Halftime came and went. As did the buckets of beer and my mind began to drift to victory celebrations and smokin' hot chicks that were going to meet with us later at the Squid Roe. All that stood in our way was that annoying gang green, but then again, we can handle them, that is if Marty would just open up the offense a bit and quit running the same three plays out of the same two formations. The offense looked like a drunk and retarded flock of geese flying around a blind full of hunters armed with howitzer cannons. All lined up the same way and running in circles all night long. But we will get into that some more later, oh this I promise...

Highlight of the first three quarters, my favorite receiver E. Parker. That's right #88.

The wrap up tomorrow...

(Yes, it will include the smokin' hot chicks, I swear)

Sorry Folks, I Just Can't Bring Myself To Do it.

This one still stings too much. Maybe later in the week. Maybe next year. Who knows? Who cares? At least Cabo is nice this time of year.

Does Anyone Know Where Cabo Is?

And off to Cabo it is. All the tales of fun and fiasco of the New Year’s weekend will be recapped next week post Cabo. Post Bolts first playoff victory in ten years. Post Victory Shots. All the fun to be documented next week, stay tuned….

All I Wanted for Christmas was a Playoff Game...

After what was an unbelievable weekend as described by me (soon), we are officially off to the playoffs, well, they are coming to us in the form of the New York Jets. Who, by all accounts made their final push to playoff paradise with the transmission firmly planted in reverse. According to Herm Edwards, losing to the Rams and benefiting from the inevitable Drew Bledsoe choke fest that granted the J-E-T-S their golden ticket, is not synonymous with “backing in”. Good one Herm. Way to motivate the boys and keep them positive.

Regardless of how the Jets got themselves into the playoffs is a little matter of the match up at hand. Our Bolts in a revenge fest from the infant stages of the ’04 season. Let it be known that we lost said game, and according to some it wasn’t as close as the lopsided score would have indicated. To them I say, they will be facing a much different Bolts squad this time through, hopefully they haven’t realized that little fact. Besides, anyone that has watched recently (I have) knows that that Pennington character cannot possibly have a healthy shoulder because he is launching some of the most beautiful incompletions that I have ever seen. Chad would be thrilled to have Mike Vick’s accuracy right now.

Looks like they might get John Abraham back for this one. Which is bad for us. I have watched that guy prior to his injury and he is a bad man. Were I ever to become a Jets fan, that guy would be the player whose jersey I wore. But, I think he is on par with Dwight Freeeney and you all saw what we did to him. Next…

Hopefully we get Mr. McCardell back prior to Saturday night’s 6p.m. (Yes, 6) kickoff time. Looks like that “ankle problem” was a bit painful for him. Hopefully he is operating close to a hundred percent to take some of the pressure off of Skip. The offense didn’t seem quite as potent without him around…

In Cabo San Lucas the games start at 6. Such is my luck. The first time in about 84 years that the Bolts get a home playoff game, and I am going to be stuck in such an awful place like Cabo, where I heard the weather yesterday was 83 degrees. Farenheit. Oh well, I will just have to force myself to enjoy a swim up bar on the beach that has televisions and watch the green lantern go out with eight of my friends. How will I ever enjoy that?

Seeing as how the last couple of weeks contained a loss and a game that was academic, the victory shots have been on hiatus. I think that this week might be a good time for them to come back into the rotation full time…

More later…

It's on, It's really on...

Happy New Year to One and All!!

Some Weekend Thoughts:

-There may not be enough super glue in San Diego to meet my needs.
-Iowa is my new favorite college football team.
-You are never too old for shopping carts.
-Cabo is two days away.
-Tequila at midnight is always fun.
-Cabo is two days away.
-Apparently I am a C student and slightly condescending.
-Playoff football is 5 days away.
-Playoff football is in fact in Cabo.

So much stuff to talk about in the next two days. More later…