Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Not So Fast Tim...

Oh how the waffling begins. My problem with this article lies with the basis that you can't assume "what if" scenarios would have been successful. All of us "amateur analysts" that are still at threat level orange about the 3rd down play before halftime are just silly uneducated "amateurs" for thinking that we may have scored a touchdown in that situation. Obviously, for Norv, he believed that a sack in that situation was far more likely to occur (conveniently a "what if" scenario), without the use of statistics or fucking science for that matter, so he kicked a meaningless field goal. On third down. With ten seconds to go. From the fucking six yard line. SHITFUCKASS!!!

Now, there is no matter of fact way to prove that we would have scored a touchdown in that situation with any level of certainty. Conversely, there is no statistical evidence, or "what if" scenario the other way that it was far more likely Rivers would have been sacked on the play. The crux of the situation, and why it was such a fucktastic disaster was the coach, freely dropping his pants, placing a death grip on his ankles bent over facing Harbaugh on the opposite sidelines and screamed, "YOU WIN MASTER, TAKE ME AS YOU MAY AND PREFERABLY FORGO THE LUBRICANT AS YOU ASS PLUNDER MY NETHERREGIONS!".

The message sent was twofold, A) We can't beat you supreme being Baltimore Ravens, and B) Chargers, we're going to the locker room losing by three less points cause I know you don't have the testicular fortitude to get into the end zone. That is a very valuable lesson to send the squad there Coach. And by coach I mean porcupine fucker.

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