Not really, more like a pre-season suck-off with ol' Laserface himself...
You can see more of Marmalard here.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
AJ Is Not Worried...
...about his offensive line's inability to do offensive line stuff. Between him, Nicky and me that makes one of us.
And Nicky blows his one column a year that doesn't give me neck sprain before the regular season starts? That's poor clock management, my friend.
And Nicky blows his one column a year that doesn't give me neck sprain before the regular season starts? That's poor clock management, my friend.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Chargers To Smokers: Suck It...Somewhere Else
So the Chargers have eliminated all smoking areas inside the stadium. This is one of the reasons I quit smoking. Because sooner or later it will be considered an out and out crime. So, good for me; I don't care because this doesn't affect me and that is the modern American way. I do wonder, though, if it's such a hot idea to alienate any group of fans in a panicked economy when you're worried about selling enough tickets to lift TV blackouts. Shit, maybe this will affect me. I also wonder how fair it is to change the rules after you've sold the ticket. I wouldn't be surprised to see some kind of lawsuit. I'd be even less surprised to see it lose because to be a smoker in California is to be Black Bart these days. But if the Chargers want to ban stuff in the stadium in order to make for a more pleasant fan experience for everyone else, how about neck tattoos?
Plaxico Burress Interview
I'm sure by now most of you have seen the portion of Plaxico's E:60 interview that they've been showing on ESPN where he tells what happened that night he shot himself in the leg. It's not really even all that interesting if you ask me but my favorite part is where the reporter asks the whitest question I've ever heard: "Why didn't you have a holster?" Way to be out of touch, ESPN. Or maybe they were asking what was on the minds of their 80 year old viewing audience. You know, keep that demo happy? Reminded me of the time an engineer at my work was shocked-SHOCKED-that I didn't wear a helmet when riding my beach cruiser on the boardwalk.
Monday, August 24, 2009
Whaddya Know, Charger Football. Sort of.
So, whilst away vacationing in the great North Woods of Minnesota, I put off my posting in earnest for a bit and tried to be a Twins fan so that I could delude myself into believing that preseason football wasn't really happening and that baseball was still more than passingly entertaining. It worked for a quick minute, as I was only able to catch a handful of snaps during the not-blacked-out-in-Minnesota Chargers Preseason game against...someone? Seattle, maybe? I don't know, I was drunk and it was nice to sees guys in football clothes running around, but it wasn't real. This past weekend, while still rather drunk, I was able to actually catch about half of the game against...the Cardinals, I think. Some thoughts:
- I really like Legedu Naanee[?]. Not only is his name super fun to say, he seems to be in the mix when he's in the game, you know? Beautiful long strike by Rivers to a very nice grab by Naanee[?] to open the action.
- Glorious to see Cromartie finding the ball. I'll have some more of that, please. Guy needs to be a superstar.
- O-Line. That's a problem.
That's all I got. Seriously, that's every last thing I remember and I wouldn't have it any other way. Yesterday, John smoltz owned the Padres after letting every team he faced as a Red Sock hit BP against him until the team jettisoned him, and now all I want to do is go into a coma until preseason is over.
One last thing:
- According to the local radio goons this morning, former Chargers punter Darren Bennet was a consultant on the construction of the new Texas Stadium, and he told Jerry Jones that the giant screen should be at least 115 feet off of the ground so that only the best punters would hit it and only sometimes. Jones hung the screen at 90 feet anyway and now they'll probably have to spend $2,000,000 to raise it 25 feet. Check out the way Jones whines about how the mean ole punter tried to hit it the other night here. Glorious!
Yeah, I bulleted ONE point, so what? Bullet points rule! I love them almost as much as commas. Go Bolts!!!
Friday, August 07, 2009
AJ's Mistakes Aren't Worth Mentioning
So says Kevin Acee, who was on local radio once again, blaming everyone but AJ for the Chargers decline over the last few seasons. When asked about the drafting of Buster Davis, Acee admitted that it probably wasn't the best pick, but since we don't need him it's no big deal. So AJ gets a pass on throwing away a 1st round pick on a guy that no other team had scouted anywhere near the 1st round. And before you give me any garbage about how AJ hit on guys like Castillo and Cromartie in spots they weren't expected to go, please keep in mind that those guys only slipped due to injury or controversy, not due to the fact that they weren't even the best receiver on their team in college.
Thursday, August 06, 2009
I Know Television Personalities.
I'm only posting the following video because I know the brunette in the Vincent Jackson jersey and since she gets more air time here than LaDainian Tomlinson, I'm pretty sure that makes me awesome by association.
"We're gonna come home with a ring this year!" The fan in me says "Yes!" but the remaining functioning brain cells in me wish they shared her optimism.
"We're gonna come home with a ring this year!" The fan in me says "Yes!" but the remaining functioning brain cells in me wish they shared her optimism.
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
Eli Manning Effing Sucks!
I've been saying for a long time now that I could not care less that Eli Manning temper tantrummed his way out of a Chargers jersey years ago (who knew he could hold his breath that long?), and as far as I'm concerned-or any San Diego fan should be concerned, for that matter-we made out like bandits in the deal. Problem is, Eli has a ring and a fancy last name and that just got him a ridculous new contract with the VaGiants. I don't care to report the exact numbers here because i don't feel like looking them up, but suffice it to say that he's going to be making about $100 million over the next 6 years and that is a crock of shit. This ultimately means we will have to pay Rivers somewhere in that territory (or more, since statistically he makes Eli look like Archie, who must've been the nicest guy to ever play since he's remembered as a talent and I can't find talent anywhere near any numbers he ever put up (and don't give me that, "he had no talent around him bullshit, because lots of QBs have been considered NFL busts even though they played for shit teams-any QB the Lions ever drafted for instance-and yeah, I double paranthesized[?])). What the fuck was I talking about? [Scrolls back] Oh, right, the Bolts are going to likely have to give up the richest contract in franchise history to keep Rivers and that should pretty much put the final nail in any hope some of you may be retaining that we'll somehow scrounge up the coin it'll take to keep Shawn Merriman after this season. My advice? Buy stock (or at least a jersey) in Larry English. Happy Wednesday, Chargers fans!
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
Cromartie's Twat...
...gets him a fine. More draconian management from G.M. Gunslinging Godafather*? Just kidding, Twitter is stupid. You know, until I get into it.
*inadvertant 'a.' It stays.
*inadvertant 'a.' It stays.
Maybe Bilichek Isn't All Bad?
I believe that this was likely a move to drive Al Davis crazy[ier?], of which I am all in favor. Imagine Brady goes down again this year and Andre Walter takes the Pats into the postseason throwing TDs to Randy Moss, while the Raiders toil at around 4 or 5 regular season wins with Jamarcus Russell throwing INTs in the direction of Javon Walker and Darrius Heywood-Bey. So glorious. What could be next? Turning Denver's defense into a Pro Bowl squad? I'd have to start giving the Hoodie some credit at that point, for sure.
Monday, August 03, 2009
Yeah, Pretty Much.
From Peter King's Monday Morning Quarterback column this morning referrring to the Football Outsiders Almanac 2009:
g. And now for the projection that interests me more than any in the 2009 book: The Chargers have the strongest projection of any team in the six years that this book has measured preseason projections. Previously, the strongest preseason projection belonged to the 2007 Patriots. "However,'' says Schatz, "this does not mean we are predicting that the Chargers will go undefeated or even make it to the Super Bowl, because they are still coached by Norv Turner."
"The Chargers project to have the offense of the 2008 Chargers and the defense of the 2007 Chargers. They were the highest-rated offense by Football Outsider stats last year, in particular the best passing game in pretty much every possible fashion except, amazingly, when throwing to tight ends, because of Antonio Gates' injury. The defense is likely to rebound from last year's decline, especially given the level of injury it had last year. The Chargers also have excellent special teams and we project them with one of the easiest schedules in the league, partly because the projections have the rest of the AFC West as really weak."
I'm sure if you go back and peruse the archives here, you'll find at least a couple of posts where I desperately try to defend the Norv Turner signing when it happened. That is just one of the reasons that if I had a time machine I'd probably just use it to jump back to various points in my life and punch myself in the face.
g. And now for the projection that interests me more than any in the 2009 book: The Chargers have the strongest projection of any team in the six years that this book has measured preseason projections. Previously, the strongest preseason projection belonged to the 2007 Patriots. "However,'' says Schatz, "this does not mean we are predicting that the Chargers will go undefeated or even make it to the Super Bowl, because they are still coached by Norv Turner."
"The Chargers project to have the offense of the 2008 Chargers and the defense of the 2007 Chargers. They were the highest-rated offense by Football Outsider stats last year, in particular the best passing game in pretty much every possible fashion except, amazingly, when throwing to tight ends, because of Antonio Gates' injury. The defense is likely to rebound from last year's decline, especially given the level of injury it had last year. The Chargers also have excellent special teams and we project them with one of the easiest schedules in the league, partly because the projections have the rest of the AFC West as really weak."
I'm sure if you go back and peruse the archives here, you'll find at least a couple of posts where I desperately try to defend the Norv Turner signing when it happened. That is just one of the reasons that if I had a time machine I'd probably just use it to jump back to various points in my life and punch myself in the face.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
AJ Gets The Word Out...
...by jamming his hand up his Kevin Acee puppet's ass.
Kevin Acee breaks down special teams on signonsandiego.com today. He gushes praise for Scifres, Kaeding, Sproles and even David Binn. Here's what he says about Kassim Osgood:
Osgood, a disgruntled receiver, is fast and aggressive and shows hands and athleticism on kick coverage that he evidently can not from scrimmage.
Seems a bit uncalled for. Or, actually "called for" by John Wayne perhaps? Disgruntled or not, Osgood is a pro bowl special teamer and as such it shouldn't be surprising that he might seek an expanded role on the team. Does he deserve a spot on the starting line-up? Nope. Did he deserve a fair shot? Probably. Lots of skill players get their start on special teams. Too bad. Gotta get the word out that Osgood's a no-good malcontent. AJ really has these local hacks trained.
Kevin Acee breaks down special teams on signonsandiego.com today. He gushes praise for Scifres, Kaeding, Sproles and even David Binn. Here's what he says about Kassim Osgood:
Osgood, a disgruntled receiver, is fast and aggressive and shows hands and athleticism on kick coverage that he evidently can not from scrimmage.
Seems a bit uncalled for. Or, actually "called for" by John Wayne perhaps? Disgruntled or not, Osgood is a pro bowl special teamer and as such it shouldn't be surprising that he might seek an expanded role on the team. Does he deserve a spot on the starting line-up? Nope. Did he deserve a fair shot? Probably. Lots of skill players get their start on special teams. Too bad. Gotta get the word out that Osgood's a no-good malcontent. AJ really has these local hacks trained.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
San Diego Hall Of Awesome
A picture is worth a thousand words.
Been a long time since these days:
I doubt that works in jail. He probably won't achieve this level of fame ever again:
Been a long time since these days:
I doubt that works in jail. He probably won't achieve this level of fame ever again:
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Anybody There?
I came across this is the Truth & Rumors section over at CNNSI.COM via the Arizona Republic and decided it was interesting enough to break my silence over here:
"Ryan Leaf and Peyton Manning came out of college together and, as the two hot QB prospects that year, compared notes from time to time about their experiences. After they were drafted, Manning told Leaf about how well the Colts organization treated him. They basically bent over backward to make his transition to the NFL as smooth as possible, taking care of all the non-football stuff so Peyton could concentrate on immersing himself into the Colts offense. Manning was stunned to hear that Leaf's experience was completely different. Our golfing partner said that Leaf was basically left to figure it out for himself. If that's true, you combine it with the legendary stories about what an immature jerk Leaf is and begin understand why he crashed so quickly. Again, this is coming from a family friend. Who knows what the Chargers did or did not do for their rookie QB, or whether their management team was equipped to deal with such a high-maintenance player. Regardless of who was at fault for the failed Leaf-Chargers marriage, the allegedly shabby treatment of Leaf stuck with the Manning clan. And, our new golf buddy explained, that's why Archie Manning, the patriarch, threw such a fit on draft day when Eli was picked by San Diego."
From the impression Ryan Leaf has made in his years in the spotlight, I believe that this is likely only true in Ryan Leaf's and the Manning family's eyes. I mean, I wouldn't be surprised to find out the Leaf turned down any offers of assistance in his personal affairs from the Chargers and then told Manning those offers were never extended when he heard Manning's story. That's what self-absorbed, overgrown baby, dickheads do. They place blame for their mistakes on others. I think, that after all was said and done, that this article speaks worse of the Manning's for believing that piece of shit more than anything else. I got over Eli's snub a long time ago, but this is the sort of crap that could reignite it. What's the point of dredging this shit up again? And if you are going to, you might want to look into what Drew Brees and Philip Rivers have to say about their rookie situation in San Diego. You know, cause they actually played for the GM that would have handled Eli, and not the previous one? Fucking stupid off-season reporting. Isn't Brett Favre doing something interesting? Couldn't you get a ticket to Patriots camp? Let's stop making excuses for this jerk:
"Ryan Leaf and Peyton Manning came out of college together and, as the two hot QB prospects that year, compared notes from time to time about their experiences. After they were drafted, Manning told Leaf about how well the Colts organization treated him. They basically bent over backward to make his transition to the NFL as smooth as possible, taking care of all the non-football stuff so Peyton could concentrate on immersing himself into the Colts offense. Manning was stunned to hear that Leaf's experience was completely different. Our golfing partner said that Leaf was basically left to figure it out for himself. If that's true, you combine it with the legendary stories about what an immature jerk Leaf is and begin understand why he crashed so quickly. Again, this is coming from a family friend. Who knows what the Chargers did or did not do for their rookie QB, or whether their management team was equipped to deal with such a high-maintenance player. Regardless of who was at fault for the failed Leaf-Chargers marriage, the allegedly shabby treatment of Leaf stuck with the Manning clan. And, our new golf buddy explained, that's why Archie Manning, the patriarch, threw such a fit on draft day when Eli was picked by San Diego."
From the impression Ryan Leaf has made in his years in the spotlight, I believe that this is likely only true in Ryan Leaf's and the Manning family's eyes. I mean, I wouldn't be surprised to find out the Leaf turned down any offers of assistance in his personal affairs from the Chargers and then told Manning those offers were never extended when he heard Manning's story. That's what self-absorbed, overgrown baby, dickheads do. They place blame for their mistakes on others. I think, that after all was said and done, that this article speaks worse of the Manning's for believing that piece of shit more than anything else. I got over Eli's snub a long time ago, but this is the sort of crap that could reignite it. What's the point of dredging this shit up again? And if you are going to, you might want to look into what Drew Brees and Philip Rivers have to say about their rookie situation in San Diego. You know, cause they actually played for the GM that would have handled Eli, and not the previous one? Fucking stupid off-season reporting. Isn't Brett Favre doing something interesting? Couldn't you get a ticket to Patriots camp? Let's stop making excuses for this jerk:
That's the sort of thing that's ruining this damn country!
On an only somewhat related note, the plan here is to really open this blog up again this coming season, and if anybody out there is still checking in, spread the word that we are not completely without a pulse over here. Let's make this thing a real fucking institution!
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
Hello? Anybody Still Here?
Okay, so I haven't posted anything in about a million years here because I've been so ambivalent regarding this team. Well, I'm still ambivalent within the rational thinking part of my noggin, but as for the deep primitive recesses of my brain I'm pretty much freaking out in a good way. I'm considering some sort of long-winded analysis of the team's season and the upcoming game against Lamesburgh (couldn't think of any derogatory words that rhyme with Pitt), but only if there is still any life among the readers. So, if you care to hear me ramble on about what I think, let me know in the comments and I'll crap something out of my cakehole before Sunday. Until then, this is pretty sweet:
It should say actual size in the corner.
It should say actual size in the corner.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
I Crashed the Bandwagon Sunday...
This was not a post I wanted to pen. I thought long and hard about how to approach this; and after a good 27 minutes and a string of emails it still remained as it was. I thought, "Approach this creatively. Self, be creative." Yeah, that thought was extinguished rather decisively. I then thought, "Go for anger, yes, anger." And again, extinguished rather quickly. You've played that card out. So I settled passively and selected my angle. Honest feelings. Sucks, doesn't it?
Sunday morning was a glorious day out here in the town. Rolled out of bed dodging text messages about where and with whom the Bolt party would be taking place, and responded to most of them, "I'll be watching at home so I can curse at the t.v. in peace." And curse I did.
I'm not going to waste my time and yours with a full recap. Read any of the game recaps from this season, or even last season particularly during the first half of the year. Read any recap from any time of any year where losing was en vogue and shitty football was the recipe. There were some particular moments in this one that I will focus on later, but if I was grading this game I'd give it an F. Well, maybe an F+. Which as we know is like trying to watch porn in church. Totally pointless.
I held my breath in anticipation of Lord General Corleone's 2nd Quarter evaluation speech all day Monday. Nothing. I immediately popped open the computer Tuesday morning just for the sake of seeing if The Godfather had bestowed his words of wisdom, talking us off of the edge of the win wagon poised to leap as it careened out of control. Still nothing. Just strange silence. Then in an unprecedented move, we heard from the Dark Smith Lord. The axe finally fell. On the defensive coordinator. Ted, you will not be missed.
Replacing Teddy will be Ron Rivera, formerly of the Chicago Bears. Ron was interviewed prior to last season for various head coaching vacancies. Word was he'd make a fine head coach for any professional organization. The offseason came and went and Ron had not been selected for any of the vacant lead posts. In fact, he didn't even catch on as a Defensive Coordinator. He became our linebackers coach under Ted Cottrell.
Needless to say that if you'd like to focus on two of this team's most unflatteringly glaring weaknesses, first you'll have to ignore the lead incompetent and turn your gaze to the defense. The aspects of the defense that include but are not limited to, the pass rush and the linebacking. It's safe to say that both were demonstrably attributed to 'schemes' or a lack there of. Ted maintained that his 'schemes' did not change from last season. And I'd submit that they hadn't, during last season's slow start the defense looked eerily similar. It seemed as if there were a turning point last season, Teddy, newly motivated, turned the beasts free and an 8 game winning streak suddenly reared its mighty head. Turns out Ted may have not played any different schemes this year, but would he have, he may still be employed and we may not be 3-5 heading into a bye week I'm not sure we aren't going to lose.
Enter Ron Rivera to save the day. Mentor and coach to what would be the worst group of linebackers I've seen in Bolt uniforms in some time. Color me not impressed. Perhaps something should have been seen as wildly amiss, when as a favorite for a head coaching position, Rivera struggled to even find an assistant's job. I've heard of people not being good interviews and having that impact their ability to find work. Ron must have done something wholly inappropriate in order impact his employment status so dramatically. Thankfully, our excellent judges of character, namely the Spanos' found Ron a home here. And lo and behold, he's now by default the defensive coordinator. A defensive coordinator that couldn't coach the linebackers basic fundamentals of tackling again evidenced on Sunday. A linebacker coach that couldn't coach the linebackers to cover space in slant routes, cutting off angles, or teach them to protect the soft middle of the field. Might as well hire Lehman to manage your Washington Mutual deposits.
Much like the departure of the last head coach, this felt like a reactionary move that didn't really address the true problem. And to a degree it was. Does the defense have problems as hard to ignore as tits on a bull? Yes. Is this the move that will save the disaster that has become the first two quarters of the season, or where I come from a half season? That remains to be seen, but there are many other items that need to be addressed as well. Someday I'd like to see that bull though. I do like tits.
The elephant in the room is still the lead incompetent. I'm not willing to ignore or make excuses anymore for Norv Turner. His record was less than stellar prior to coming to San Diego. Better than 20 games under .500. Since becoming the head man here, his legacy as a loser has hardly been changed. As the driver of the Win Wagon, he's managed a 14-10 record. A 3-5 record with a team that has been described in the last calendar year as many things, 'superbowl favorites', 'most talented team in football', 'deepest squad', 'promising with a large window of opportunity', 'young and built to win'. Take your pick, they've all been used at one point or another. Yet, Norv, described as never having anything to work with in Washington and Oakland has managed to take our highly cliched, and heavily talented football team and steer them into a 3-5 record halfway through the season. Or as A.J. would put it, two quarters in. That my friend is a loser. Cemented by a legacy of losing. There is really no disputing that. He is not a leader. He is not a motivator. He is not a coach. He is an offensive coordinator. Coaches make a difference. Good coaches do not go on losing streaks as Turner has historically done. This man turned a Redskins team that started 7-1 (1996) into a 9-7 football team. He continued to turn the same Redskins franchise into a 7-6 team after a 6-2 start prior to being summarily fired before seasons end.
The discussion I've had a few times today is what to make of this. How deep does this loser mentality permeate the organization? Can it be measured? I say no. Is it obvious that there must be some correlation here? To me, I think it foolish to ignore that someone who is tainted by losing doesn't bring that in some way to the table each and every week. At each and every practice he leads, during each and every game. It's a stench that cannot be cleansed from his approach. It should not have been ignored during his hiring, and it should not be ignored now.
A.J. seemingly got his man. A man that would be a non factor in decision making with regard to personnel. Just run your offense Norv, seemed to be the message. Fear not, no one is asking you to be a leader, or to do the intangibles like making adjustments when plan A is no longer effective. Just captain the Win Wagon in the right direction and all praise will be heaped upon the Bad Ass Motherfucking John Wayne Cowboy Mafia Boss Corleone General Manager A.J. Smith. Dark Lord Smith for putting together this deep, talented, built through the draft home grown genius battleship of a football team. So, why is Norv not being held feet to the fire strung up in the town square by his neck as Marty seemingly was the entirety of his tenure here? Because Merriman is hurt? Injuries in the AFC Championship game? You can't tell me about the genius that is A.J. building the deepest team, and then in the next breath say we're not deep and can't overcome injury. Jyles Tucker got an extension for what I still don't know and there has been crazy talk that we won't be resigning Shawne Merriman. If Tucker really is the second coming of Merriman, how can you blame injury for our defensive woes? Perhaps we should revisit the fact that Marlon McCree is no longer with the team. A veteran leader playing safety has been replaced by a second year draftee who to date should be widely criticized for not being a professional football ready player. On Sunday, he received a 15 yard unsportsmanlike penalty for celebrating an interception with a hardly entertaining dancing fit epileptic in nature. Compounding the problem was that he celebrated an interception he didn't even make that was overturned via replay after having additional time to see the play on the jumbotron. I guess you really do need to wait three years to evaluate a draft.
That being said, we gave up some picks for both Weddle and our first round pick this year , Jacob Hester (Ed Note: Yes I'm an idiot, he was our third round pick, Cason being number one), who has yet to see the light of day in the regular season to any degree. To date, a third round draft pick who has 2 carries for 3 yards. Quite an impact player no? I hesitate to wonder where this is all going. Sure, many of A.J.'s moves have been successful, Merriman, Castillo, Rivers, need not argue any of those. Even Antonio Gates, who he signed as a free agent, then made demands of during a contract negotiation that went south and set an ultimatum for Gates to report or be suspended. Gates failed to meet the deadline, was suspended, and the game which he missed was lost. What needs to go not unnoticed are the other moves, the release of Marlon McCree, the release of Lorenzo Neal, and the ungraded last two drafts as well as the future drafts that are affected by having fewer draft picks as a result. The future doesn't look so bright I need shades to quote a relatively obscure Canadian pop icon that contributed to the downfall of American Music. IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT COREY HART!!!
I find it entertaining that the last time we had this modern day cowboy type for a general manager, and heaped praise on him for his drafting philosophy and successes, he was eventually run out of town tail tucked firmly between his balls after failure after failure mounted up and the future of the squad had already been mortgaged. We called him Bobby Beathard. Are the Weddle's and the Hester's of this new class the updated versions of the Mikhael Ricks' and Brian Still's? Still to tough to say, but parallels be damned.
Again, after all the doom and gloom I watched a football game Sunday morning. I saw some more of the same and a bit of the unfamiliar. I was tremendously irate with a 3rd and 5 running play on the game's potentially tying drive, that drew a net of two yards and put us in a 4th down situation, limiting the play book. I hated that call and we know where that came from. I did however enjoy the resurgence of LTD. His greatest game of the season, real passion showed from him for the first time in a while. I was a little disappointed they didn't screen him more, yet I'd let that slide. I liked seeing Gates finally getting involved to a degree in which I recognized him. I didn't like Vincent Jackson's dropped 72 yard touchdown pass. I didn't like that at all. I was mostly disappointed all the way through though, and it didn't get any better when it was over.
I took a bike ride to a local watering hole to grab a beer and try to forget the most recent debacle. I was doing a bit of a fishing expedition as well, to gauge the fervor of the fans, the ones proudly displaying Bolt Blue with their favorite numbers adorning their backs. Most everyone was disappointed but optimistic. Some had derogatory things to say about some aspect, the refs blowing the Cletus Gordon pass interference call, only one mentioned the coaching. I asked a trio of jersey clad 'locals' what they thought of the coaching. If they in fact thought that anything needed to be done. The response was, "You're off the bandwagon already? Typical don't you think? First sign and you're gone huh? Good. Stay off dude."
Yep. That's what I got as a response. Instead of pursuing a situation where I crack a barstool over his head, I just nodded and acknowledged that no I was not in fact off of the bandwagon, but I had in fact hijacked the fucking thing and I was careening it into the nearest fire engulfed brick fucking wall. Yep, it's all my fault and I'm willing to take that responsibility on my own. Norv, you are off the hook for at least two weeks, this one's on me...
Sunday morning was a glorious day out here in the town. Rolled out of bed dodging text messages about where and with whom the Bolt party would be taking place, and responded to most of them, "I'll be watching at home so I can curse at the t.v. in peace." And curse I did.
I'm not going to waste my time and yours with a full recap. Read any of the game recaps from this season, or even last season particularly during the first half of the year. Read any recap from any time of any year where losing was en vogue and shitty football was the recipe. There were some particular moments in this one that I will focus on later, but if I was grading this game I'd give it an F. Well, maybe an F+. Which as we know is like trying to watch porn in church. Totally pointless.
I held my breath in anticipation of Lord General Corleone's 2nd Quarter evaluation speech all day Monday. Nothing. I immediately popped open the computer Tuesday morning just for the sake of seeing if The Godfather had bestowed his words of wisdom, talking us off of the edge of the win wagon poised to leap as it careened out of control. Still nothing. Just strange silence. Then in an unprecedented move, we heard from the Dark Smith Lord. The axe finally fell. On the defensive coordinator. Ted, you will not be missed.
Replacing Teddy will be Ron Rivera, formerly of the Chicago Bears. Ron was interviewed prior to last season for various head coaching vacancies. Word was he'd make a fine head coach for any professional organization. The offseason came and went and Ron had not been selected for any of the vacant lead posts. In fact, he didn't even catch on as a Defensive Coordinator. He became our linebackers coach under Ted Cottrell.
Needless to say that if you'd like to focus on two of this team's most unflatteringly glaring weaknesses, first you'll have to ignore the lead incompetent and turn your gaze to the defense. The aspects of the defense that include but are not limited to, the pass rush and the linebacking. It's safe to say that both were demonstrably attributed to 'schemes' or a lack there of. Ted maintained that his 'schemes' did not change from last season. And I'd submit that they hadn't, during last season's slow start the defense looked eerily similar. It seemed as if there were a turning point last season, Teddy, newly motivated, turned the beasts free and an 8 game winning streak suddenly reared its mighty head. Turns out Ted may have not played any different schemes this year, but would he have, he may still be employed and we may not be 3-5 heading into a bye week I'm not sure we aren't going to lose.
Enter Ron Rivera to save the day. Mentor and coach to what would be the worst group of linebackers I've seen in Bolt uniforms in some time. Color me not impressed. Perhaps something should have been seen as wildly amiss, when as a favorite for a head coaching position, Rivera struggled to even find an assistant's job. I've heard of people not being good interviews and having that impact their ability to find work. Ron must have done something wholly inappropriate in order impact his employment status so dramatically. Thankfully, our excellent judges of character, namely the Spanos' found Ron a home here. And lo and behold, he's now by default the defensive coordinator. A defensive coordinator that couldn't coach the linebackers basic fundamentals of tackling again evidenced on Sunday. A linebacker coach that couldn't coach the linebackers to cover space in slant routes, cutting off angles, or teach them to protect the soft middle of the field. Might as well hire Lehman to manage your Washington Mutual deposits.
Much like the departure of the last head coach, this felt like a reactionary move that didn't really address the true problem. And to a degree it was. Does the defense have problems as hard to ignore as tits on a bull? Yes. Is this the move that will save the disaster that has become the first two quarters of the season, or where I come from a half season? That remains to be seen, but there are many other items that need to be addressed as well. Someday I'd like to see that bull though. I do like tits.
The elephant in the room is still the lead incompetent. I'm not willing to ignore or make excuses anymore for Norv Turner. His record was less than stellar prior to coming to San Diego. Better than 20 games under .500. Since becoming the head man here, his legacy as a loser has hardly been changed. As the driver of the Win Wagon, he's managed a 14-10 record. A 3-5 record with a team that has been described in the last calendar year as many things, 'superbowl favorites', 'most talented team in football', 'deepest squad', 'promising with a large window of opportunity', 'young and built to win'. Take your pick, they've all been used at one point or another. Yet, Norv, described as never having anything to work with in Washington and Oakland has managed to take our highly cliched, and heavily talented football team and steer them into a 3-5 record halfway through the season. Or as A.J. would put it, two quarters in. That my friend is a loser. Cemented by a legacy of losing. There is really no disputing that. He is not a leader. He is not a motivator. He is not a coach. He is an offensive coordinator. Coaches make a difference. Good coaches do not go on losing streaks as Turner has historically done. This man turned a Redskins team that started 7-1 (1996) into a 9-7 football team. He continued to turn the same Redskins franchise into a 7-6 team after a 6-2 start prior to being summarily fired before seasons end.
The discussion I've had a few times today is what to make of this. How deep does this loser mentality permeate the organization? Can it be measured? I say no. Is it obvious that there must be some correlation here? To me, I think it foolish to ignore that someone who is tainted by losing doesn't bring that in some way to the table each and every week. At each and every practice he leads, during each and every game. It's a stench that cannot be cleansed from his approach. It should not have been ignored during his hiring, and it should not be ignored now.
A.J. seemingly got his man. A man that would be a non factor in decision making with regard to personnel. Just run your offense Norv, seemed to be the message. Fear not, no one is asking you to be a leader, or to do the intangibles like making adjustments when plan A is no longer effective. Just captain the Win Wagon in the right direction and all praise will be heaped upon the Bad Ass Motherfucking John Wayne Cowboy Mafia Boss Corleone General Manager A.J. Smith. Dark Lord Smith for putting together this deep, talented, built through the draft home grown genius battleship of a football team. So, why is Norv not being held feet to the fire strung up in the town square by his neck as Marty seemingly was the entirety of his tenure here? Because Merriman is hurt? Injuries in the AFC Championship game? You can't tell me about the genius that is A.J. building the deepest team, and then in the next breath say we're not deep and can't overcome injury. Jyles Tucker got an extension for what I still don't know and there has been crazy talk that we won't be resigning Shawne Merriman. If Tucker really is the second coming of Merriman, how can you blame injury for our defensive woes? Perhaps we should revisit the fact that Marlon McCree is no longer with the team. A veteran leader playing safety has been replaced by a second year draftee who to date should be widely criticized for not being a professional football ready player. On Sunday, he received a 15 yard unsportsmanlike penalty for celebrating an interception with a hardly entertaining dancing fit epileptic in nature. Compounding the problem was that he celebrated an interception he didn't even make that was overturned via replay after having additional time to see the play on the jumbotron. I guess you really do need to wait three years to evaluate a draft.
That being said, we gave up some picks for both Weddle and our first round pick this year , Jacob Hester (Ed Note: Yes I'm an idiot, he was our third round pick, Cason being number one), who has yet to see the light of day in the regular season to any degree. To date, a third round draft pick who has 2 carries for 3 yards. Quite an impact player no? I hesitate to wonder where this is all going. Sure, many of A.J.'s moves have been successful, Merriman, Castillo, Rivers, need not argue any of those. Even Antonio Gates, who he signed as a free agent, then made demands of during a contract negotiation that went south and set an ultimatum for Gates to report or be suspended. Gates failed to meet the deadline, was suspended, and the game which he missed was lost. What needs to go not unnoticed are the other moves, the release of Marlon McCree, the release of Lorenzo Neal, and the ungraded last two drafts as well as the future drafts that are affected by having fewer draft picks as a result. The future doesn't look so bright I need shades to quote a relatively obscure Canadian pop icon that contributed to the downfall of American Music. IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT COREY HART!!!
I find it entertaining that the last time we had this modern day cowboy type for a general manager, and heaped praise on him for his drafting philosophy and successes, he was eventually run out of town tail tucked firmly between his balls after failure after failure mounted up and the future of the squad had already been mortgaged. We called him Bobby Beathard. Are the Weddle's and the Hester's of this new class the updated versions of the Mikhael Ricks' and Brian Still's? Still to tough to say, but parallels be damned.
Again, after all the doom and gloom I watched a football game Sunday morning. I saw some more of the same and a bit of the unfamiliar. I was tremendously irate with a 3rd and 5 running play on the game's potentially tying drive, that drew a net of two yards and put us in a 4th down situation, limiting the play book. I hated that call and we know where that came from. I did however enjoy the resurgence of LTD. His greatest game of the season, real passion showed from him for the first time in a while. I was a little disappointed they didn't screen him more, yet I'd let that slide. I liked seeing Gates finally getting involved to a degree in which I recognized him. I didn't like Vincent Jackson's dropped 72 yard touchdown pass. I didn't like that at all. I was mostly disappointed all the way through though, and it didn't get any better when it was over.
I took a bike ride to a local watering hole to grab a beer and try to forget the most recent debacle. I was doing a bit of a fishing expedition as well, to gauge the fervor of the fans, the ones proudly displaying Bolt Blue with their favorite numbers adorning their backs. Most everyone was disappointed but optimistic. Some had derogatory things to say about some aspect, the refs blowing the Cletus Gordon pass interference call, only one mentioned the coaching. I asked a trio of jersey clad 'locals' what they thought of the coaching. If they in fact thought that anything needed to be done. The response was, "You're off the bandwagon already? Typical don't you think? First sign and you're gone huh? Good. Stay off dude."
Yep. That's what I got as a response. Instead of pursuing a situation where I crack a barstool over his head, I just nodded and acknowledged that no I was not in fact off of the bandwagon, but I had in fact hijacked the fucking thing and I was careening it into the nearest fire engulfed brick fucking wall. Yep, it's all my fault and I'm willing to take that responsibility on my own. Norv, you are off the hook for at least two weeks, this one's on me...
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Oh Wait. Never-Fucking-Mind.
Looks like we're only going to need to win like two more games to get into the playoffs anyway. What's the point in trying then? We can accidentally make it into the postseason at this rate. The postseason. Where anything can happen. Like fucking Disneyland. Fucking stupid football.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Balls, Balls, Balls...
You know? There's been far too much depressing shit going on over here for what seems like far too long lately. This team has many times in its history tested my ability to continue with a rooting interest in their success. I've truly invested all of my being in this squad for as long as I can remember. I mean, I still look at the picture of me with Dan Fouts when I was four at my mom's house with fondness and wonder. I look at my old autographs and behave like a juvenile little child still to this day. I'm a fucking full grown adult. What's wrong with me?
Nearly two years ago I halfheartedly quit the football team. That New England debacle in January on our field sent me off of the wagon. It took me all of last season to muster up the ability to care about the team again. I didn't want the letdowns to plague me anymore. The team didn't feel familiar to me and the people running the team I was not particularly fond of. It wasn't difficult to put a little distance between us. I walked around knowing full well that the season would be a failure and that only winning football games would surprise me. So of course, when they got their act together and strung together victory after victory and then left the playoffs a tremendous disappointment yet again, I wasn't surprised. I was just sad. Sad that it happened. Sad that it happened again. Sad that it was further cementing our legacy as a failed squad.
Enter 2008. Expectations for the squad still at all time highs. Fan loyalty brimming with confidence. Super Bowl talk dominated the offseason national landscape. Everyone was on board with Bolts. It was nearly a foregone conclusion that this year, this was our year. I wanted more than anyone to believe. I even think I tried to convince myself that I believed. Yet nothing really has changed. Yes, I know there are injuries, Shawne, LTD, Antonio, everyone is seemingly hurt. But this team was sold to us by A.J. who had built the depth of the squad through the draft and he is a damned genius so Super Bowl be ours. They told us about the depth of the team so often, that it's amazing to me that it's so quickly forgotten now. If not for injuries it's for schemes, the defense isn't effective but Teddy isn't doing anything differently than he did last year, and I'd agree. He's doing nothing differently than he did in the series of losses that mounted up last year. And well, let's not forget the head man in charge, he of the losing regular season record, a legacy of disappointment in Oakland, and I'd rather not even repeat some of the good things they say about Norv in Washington.
What now? What now fellas? I'd almost pay to hear Mr. Canepa weigh in on the subject of the worst pass defense in the league, an ineffective at best running game, and the overall continuing lack of leadership that permeates the organization from top to bottom. Suffice to say that all stadium issues aside (Good Luck Spanos, with that publicly funded job now.) that there are issues are slightly more prevalent. I'd run down the list for the umpteenth time in this space, but really, I don't have the desire, and you probably don't want to hear it.
Funny thing is, I don't feel as awful as I have in the past as a reaction to the crushing disappointment. It feels so familiar to me anymore, you know, the leadership gaffes, the disappointing play, the familiar underachieving, all of it. I'm hardly even surprised it's happening yet again. I didn't even care to watch the afternoon session of the NFL yesterday. I took a walk instead.
I've made that halfhearted attempt to quit this team in the past. I don't think that will happen again. I don't want to quit on purpose. But it's slipping away, a legacy of disappointment and failure and loss after loss after loss in big situations adds up. At some point it will become insurmountable. I find that I just won't allow myself to care that much anymore and it's taking less effort than ever.
Perhaps this is the wake up call the team needs. Perhaps this is the point in which the season turns itself around and everything comes up platinum roses. There is still a lot of football to play and the division is surely not out of reach. Just color me a bit skeptical that this tiger can change its stripes when it's shown no propensity to do that, well, ever.
Nearly two years ago I halfheartedly quit the football team. That New England debacle in January on our field sent me off of the wagon. It took me all of last season to muster up the ability to care about the team again. I didn't want the letdowns to plague me anymore. The team didn't feel familiar to me and the people running the team I was not particularly fond of. It wasn't difficult to put a little distance between us. I walked around knowing full well that the season would be a failure and that only winning football games would surprise me. So of course, when they got their act together and strung together victory after victory and then left the playoffs a tremendous disappointment yet again, I wasn't surprised. I was just sad. Sad that it happened. Sad that it happened again. Sad that it was further cementing our legacy as a failed squad.
Enter 2008. Expectations for the squad still at all time highs. Fan loyalty brimming with confidence. Super Bowl talk dominated the offseason national landscape. Everyone was on board with Bolts. It was nearly a foregone conclusion that this year, this was our year. I wanted more than anyone to believe. I even think I tried to convince myself that I believed. Yet nothing really has changed. Yes, I know there are injuries, Shawne, LTD, Antonio, everyone is seemingly hurt. But this team was sold to us by A.J. who had built the depth of the squad through the draft and he is a damned genius so Super Bowl be ours. They told us about the depth of the team so often, that it's amazing to me that it's so quickly forgotten now. If not for injuries it's for schemes, the defense isn't effective but Teddy isn't doing anything differently than he did last year, and I'd agree. He's doing nothing differently than he did in the series of losses that mounted up last year. And well, let's not forget the head man in charge, he of the losing regular season record, a legacy of disappointment in Oakland, and I'd rather not even repeat some of the good things they say about Norv in Washington.
What now? What now fellas? I'd almost pay to hear Mr. Canepa weigh in on the subject of the worst pass defense in the league, an ineffective at best running game, and the overall continuing lack of leadership that permeates the organization from top to bottom. Suffice to say that all stadium issues aside (Good Luck Spanos, with that publicly funded job now.) that there are issues are slightly more prevalent. I'd run down the list for the umpteenth time in this space, but really, I don't have the desire, and you probably don't want to hear it.
Funny thing is, I don't feel as awful as I have in the past as a reaction to the crushing disappointment. It feels so familiar to me anymore, you know, the leadership gaffes, the disappointing play, the familiar underachieving, all of it. I'm hardly even surprised it's happening yet again. I didn't even care to watch the afternoon session of the NFL yesterday. I took a walk instead.
I've made that halfhearted attempt to quit this team in the past. I don't think that will happen again. I don't want to quit on purpose. But it's slipping away, a legacy of disappointment and failure and loss after loss after loss in big situations adds up. At some point it will become insurmountable. I find that I just won't allow myself to care that much anymore and it's taking less effort than ever.
Perhaps this is the wake up call the team needs. Perhaps this is the point in which the season turns itself around and everything comes up platinum roses. There is still a lot of football to play and the division is surely not out of reach. Just color me a bit skeptical that this tiger can change its stripes when it's shown no propensity to do that, well, ever.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Fuck That Shit.
I just don't know if I have it in me any longer. The city of San Diego is a melting pot within a country that is a melting pot of it's own. I don't know what the exact figures are, but some days it feels like the population hovers at around 90% transplants. And for some inexplicable reason, most of them harbor a deep loathing for our local sports teams. I've heard it said it's because our fan base gets too excited when our teams succeed even though we have won no titles. That's right, people hate our teams because we cheer for them. It's really hard to deal with that kind of attitude. I get it at work. I get it when at the local watering hole. And as I was walking home in my Philip Rivers jersey after another abysmal loss today, I was heckled by a 13 year old. I think they may have won. I think I might be done. I hate this team.
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